Mostly Secure, a Few Squares Empty

The fundamentals are secure. After a fight they come back to you first, and they don't disappear. A few squares are empty, though. Ask and they'll name a feeling, but they don't offer one. Say you're struggling and sometimes hang in there is the whole response. That's less absence of feeling than untrained expression. The apology that arrives with sorry, but you also is the same thread. All of this is still fillable by conversation. And there's one decisive difference from an avoidant partner: when you raise something that hurt, they don't call you sensitive. They say okay, and something moves, even if only slightly. When that reaction is present, time usually does the rest. Being specific about what you want is the most efficient move in this relationship.